Anya's Paintings

2010-11-15T09:34:00.000-08:00

And the award for the most nerve-wracking 30 min demo goes to this little guy. I came to demonstrate at a local art guild and once set up, with people waiting, realized I didn't bring any white (oil) paint. I painted as long as I could using no white, trying to "rub" lights out, using yellow, etc, but then decided in desperation to try a tube of acrylic white I had in my car. It worked enough to complete the demo, although I am sure now they paint will peel off. Someone even offered to buy it, but I couldn't sell it to them knowing it isn't going to last. While waiting for what I was going to do people that were watching me were very quite. Before I even attempted to use the acrylic paint I felt like my mind was racing, trying to come up with a way out of an embarrassing situation. I tried to stay cool and joke with my audience and eventually was very relieved when I placed some acrylic on top of white and it not only stayed, but also mixed with oil color to produce something somewhat close to what I was intending to produce. The most important thing that happened though, wasn't a discovery that in an emergency situation (and just for show) I could use acrylic paint with oil, but that even though this was kind of a disaster and not a very smooth demo, I lived through it and nothing really bad happened. This might just give me confidence to try other things that I am afraid to try because of "what if's".

On a different, more practical note, I have started shopping for my art supplies Big Crumbs website. Its free and I still use Dick Blick .com , but through Big Crumbs I get 5.6% cash back on all my purchases. from Dick Blick on top of all their other discounts. I do get some kind of points for referral, but I really do like this, especially when my art supplies bill is usually $300 + , the savings part is good enough of an incentive to use it. So far, I have not found anything wrong with this and I really like it.

2010-11-05T07:30:00.000-07:00

These three paintings are examples what I have been keeping busy with. I was working on a few landscapes, daily paintings and watercolor seafood paintings. If you have any questions please email me from my website. www.anyalincoln.com

Tomorrow I am supposed to make participate in an Arts and Crafts show in Bastrop, LA but instead of frantically trying to paint as many paintings as possible, I decided to dedicate this morning to doing things slow, blogging and enjoying my three baby-free hours. Katya is with Ms. Deanna just in the next room and I hear them signing along with Elmo videos.

The school year, which usually brings me a bit of personal freedom, didn't quite do it this year. September started with birthday parties for kids, and art workshops for adults. I had a wonderful time while discovering teaching talents I didn't know I had and met some great people. With Katya teething September was a blur and so was the next month. Then, of course, at the end of 9 weeks of school and a couple of parent teacher conferences I realized I wasn't spending enough time checking my older girls' homework.. Two more hours at night now taken up by reading math books and reviewing science study guides. In other words, things haven't been so easy lately. In general, between being a mom to three girls of different ages (all 4.5 years apart), not sleeping well and having a passion for painting that keeps me working overtime, life has been DIFFICULT. Now tired of this endless stream of events that seem to all blend together, I decided to take a more conscious approach to my life. After all its MINE and I can make it what I want. Yes, there might be plenty on my plate but I am a creative person and no reason that same approach can't apply to everything else I do. Now that I have been trying on this new mode of thinking for a week, things seem to have improved. Mainly because I started to give myself permission to do things the easy way, when I can. Also permission to not feel guilty about things, any things AT ALL, and allowing myself to feel entitled to peace and love. Another shift in thinking that happend recently is I decided not to make things that don't work in my life into stories about me. Its a lot less depressing to have a painting that didn't come out just because a painting didn't come out, then because I am incompetent, or stupid, or lazy, or disorganized, or what else I used to tell myself on regular basis.

2010-07-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

Its seems like last time I had something to say, I said it on Facebook, in my one-line status update and that's all there was time for. Thankfully some people don't keep their appointment time with me, so while I am waiting, there is time to write.

The painting above was one of the two (or three) recent paintings of peonies I have completed. I ordered these gorgeous flowers from an online wholesaler and painted them as quickly as I could, before they started to drop their petals in Louisiana heat. I wanted to paint something that looked fresh and alive, keeping the appearance of representational work, I wanted to also play more the abstract patterns that the paint itself creates. I remember that always excited me about painting, and for some reason I talked myself out of doing what I felt like doing more times than I would like to admit. So I realized that I may have known what to do a long time ago, and just didn't do it for the fear of it being too obvious. May be it will be easier from now own to follow my intuition, because its seems that its the only way to live and express ones own truth.

One other personal painting related discovery was an exercise that I have been using quite often lately. I was thinking of a big beautiful museum space (but it can be any space of place that would be the ultimate place that you would like to see your art work). Big white walls are everywhere and people are walking around looking at art. I know I will turn around and see a painting, and its mine -- the question is - what would I love to see? What is on that painting? How is it done? How big is it? What would make me, the artist, say, ah, I have done it, I am happy! I have learned that this simple use of mind's eye is a good way to remind myself of a direction to go. Not that anyone but a confused person like me would need it! :D

Also I recently got my 15 minutes of fame in a local Monroe Newspaper. A sweet article written by my ex-husband, Eric, generated quite a lot of interest here in my work. I am enjoying connecting with people around here - like today a 90 year old lady artist walked in to my shop and we had a great chat. I wanted to meet her the whole time I was here, but now that she has read the article she came to find me! Here is the link, by the way.

The painting above was done with a very loose acrylic underpainting and oil on top applied with brushes and a palette knife.

2010-06-08T09:43:00.000-07:00

18X24, $380

2010-06-08T08:59:00.000-07:00

14X16, $225

14X18, $250
24X18, $380

2010-06-08T08:43:00.000-07:00

11X14, $200

2010-04-06T08:14:00.000-07:00

Last couple of weeks were a little crazy, with more organization things than painting going on. The submissions for the juried show at Masur Museum were due, so I submitted three paintings: one still life (above) and two semi-abstract works. I think we are supposed to know by April 28th what gets in and what doesn't.
There is also a fundraiser for the same museum that is going to happen on Friday night. The painting below will be up for sale with a minimum bid of only $100 .

2010-03-24T18:08:00.000-07:00

2010-03-12T19:44:00.000-08:00

I took this picture with my cell phone, that couldn't get any closer to this little painting I did last night. All day long I was planning on painting something else (some Japanese magnolia inspired things) but nothing was quite flowing. As usual, I came into my studio at the end of the day, dead-tired and decided to just a paint for a few minutes before cleaning my instruments and turning out the lights. The few minutes turned into a couple of hours, but I am glad that I started, because I am quite happy with the results.

This week my daughter Nicole auditioned to be in the Seussical -- and got in the role of a fish/circus animal. I volunteered to help paint the set, which of course, I am not sure whether I will love or hate. I don't think it will be extremely creative venture, as I imagine its just touching up the old set, but I am willing to try something new. All my (russian) painting heroes painted theater sets at some point in their lives. At the very least this will be a chance to meet some more people in Monroe art community.

A semi-abstract painting got started a few days ago, but will be painted over. It just wasn't working, was so dark and dreary and I have no desire to put things like that out there to torture my viewers. :)

Another thing that happened today is I got genuinely PISSED OFF at my bank of 11 years - Chase. I don't think I ever really feel the intensity of anger I felt today, and without going into details, decided that I see more and more value in real COMMUNITY living. Where people care, people lend you money, people take care of your money for you. Not some machine, a heartless robot, with no appreciation for loyalty or anything of that sort. So I am going to a small bank even if it means actually balancing my checkbook and not enjoying seeing all my transactions immediately. I have started to see more and more value in this small town living. Here a person can actually LIVE, and not just in their car, in traffic! And not just for the mortgage one can hardly afford. The other day I told Dave that I have had more people of very humble means perform services for me and not want any money for it here in the past two years, then in all time I spent in Metairie.

Its like its possible to actually have enough and give some back. Gosh, I am really beginning to appreciate this way of life.

I don't know if I will live here for ever. But this is working, and why mess with a good thing, right?

2010-03-10T10:07:00.000-08:00

Painting, painting...

2010-03-04T16:36:00.000-08:00

2010-02-23T09:23:00.000-08:00

First roses from my 30 collection. ;) So, 1 and 2....

2010-02-22T20:29:00.000-08:00

My messy studio, as it is right now. As I was walking past my husband I asked him if I should clean my studio or blog. He said: "Blog". So here I am.

Tomorrow should be a good day as a new batch of roses and a pack of large, 36X48 canvases is supposed to arrive in the mail. If you follow me on Facebook, you already know that I have two projects going on side by side (aside from project "baby Katya"). One of them is painting 30 painting of roses and another one, working on a series of semi-representational paintings, based on one of the paintings I posted here earlier.

The other day, an interesting thing happened to me. I emailed several people I knew with art related questions. In addition to the responses I got, I also contacted an art consultant and had a 1 hr phone conversation with him. Frankly, I knew little about the guy, Alan Bamberger, (www.artbusiness.com), but was impressed with a lot of helpful articles for both artists and collectors on his website. I don't want to share the advice just yet, but calling him was the best thing I could have done at the moment.

Now, refocused and excited, I am hoping for a productive day tomorrow.

2010-02-11T13:13:00.000-08:00

2010-02-09T09:03:00.000-08:00

2010-02-08T10:48:00.000-08:00

My friend Marietta is in my studio this morning. More later..

2010-02-04T07:56:00.000-08:00

Cold studio this morning. Listening to the rain outside my window and thinking about the things I have been reading about modern art recently. I think what I have realized is that first, there isn't really anything new under the sun... I realized that while I am totally free to create whatever works of art I want, I am far more interested in beauty, than in edginess, or provocation. My thinking is that beauty, and by beauty I mean, honesty, intelligence, love, etc. -
is the answer to many problems of our society. I don't if my art will ever have any social implications, but I know one thing and that is if one finds a place of absolute beauty within oneself, it will make more difference than protests, hatred and offenses. That's whats on my mind today.

2010-01-30T14:05:00.001-08:00

I am quite happy with our Saturday morning. I got my way and made everyone go to Masur to view the exhibit of Jonathan Pellitteri's sculptures. The whole experience was very enjoyable from the children who were interested in what they were looking at to the quality of the work. So detailed and creative.
These are two abstracts that I did a few months back. The upper has no title, and the lower I called "Walk with me.." Both of them are ink and acrylic on canvas. Have done only a minimal amount of painting since Thursday, but I am hoping that I will finish one of the canvases tonight.

2010-01-26T19:41:00.001-08:00

Last week was really busy but quite good -- my brother, Andrei and his wife Brigitte came to visit us with their little girls - one of them 3 years and another one 10 months old. I haven't seen my brother in at least three years, and it was good to talk to him, get to know his girls and visit with my sister-in-law. Of course, apart from a couple of hours spent with my niece in my studio (which she called "the cold room" I didn't paint). Tomorrow is the first official workday for me (Monday and today were just cleaning and organization). I am moving my self-imposed deadline of Jan. 30 to Feb.5. On that day I will upload all the new pictures online and find a place to physically display them. I never hand a problem selling work online but I think I have sort of a phobia of having a show. I don't know why, but that is the reason I am trying hard not to fall o the wagon, so to speak, and do what I said I will do.
This week a new page appeared on Facebook dedicated to my paintings. If you search Anya Lincoln Fine Art, you can find it and become a fan. This is the simplest way to interact and keep in touch.

2010-01-08T01:17:00.000-08:00

Its three in the morning, and after being totally squished between my two most favorite bodies in the world, I decided to get up. Its a little frustrating, considering that I am not getting much sleep these days anyway, to be sitting here waiting for the frozen pancakes to warm up in the microwave.
Tomorrow, Friday, was declared a "no school" day, because of the fears of ice on the road. I don't know, perhaps they are right, but it sure seems like we had no rain, and so there is technically NOTHING to make the ice that everyone is so terrified of. Meanwhile my house is a real danger zone: its so cold here, I literally feel the wind on my feet as I sit here, in my dinning room. It was worse at the computer desk, so I left. I am not even thinking of going to go in to my studio. It is so darn cold. And there is always plenty of water everywhere. So, its my house that needs to be off limits tomorrow and not Riverfield Academy.
On January 1st I decided to participate in a challenge of sorts through a life-coaching website that I am a member of. The challenge is in setting a goal that would be hard to achieve in 30 days, but it should be the goal that even if you fail, you would be happy you spent time working towards it. Needless to say that my goal was about painting. I decided to complete 13 paintings, that I will be proud to show (in a show) and find a place to put them up in.
I got to tell you, I don't know where the time comes from, but as the say "when the one definitely commits, the providence moves, too". So far I have 5 pieces, some of them need a little more touching up, but I am surprised I am this far along. And it hasn't be that hard. I mean, I make myself go to my easel every chance I get, but once I do as little as touch the brush, I feel a rush of energy and then I stop only when the baby needs me. Sometimes the actual time at the canvas isn't longer than 3 minutes. I am trying to be focused though and not let interruptions get to me (like they usually do).
Okay.. funny noises on the baby monitor, got to go check them out... Later..

2010-01-03T18:59:00.000-08:00

A few days ago a friend came over and I showed her some of my new paintings, some unfinished, braking my own "new" rule, to hold out showing new work until I feel I have completed enough of it. After that, I have done really good, and even at Christmas, with all the visitors at the house no one had been to my studio. So far, this is working well, because I have been working and reworking some paintings. I think just in last two days I have almost completed two more big canvases and tonight, after I finish blogging, I may even start on yet another one.
I have happily allowed myself not to stick to one subject or style, and have painted both still-life, abstract and combination paintings. ("Combination painting" sounds like something you would order at a Chinese restaurant.. what I mean is a painting that combines realism and abstraction).

Tonight we made our pilgrimage to Monroe stopping at Target, Books-a-Million and Wal-Mart, where I bought the roses above . They were cheap, only $10 a dozen and I bought two of them. Behind them is a rainbow painting I am working on -- I began painting it with my daughter Emma in mind, who would color everything with rainbows if she could. I don't know where this painting will go yet, but I am letting it "tell" me. This is one fun aspect of painting without looking at anything -- a sense of fun and freedom. No attachment to any particular form or composition.

2009-12-16T07:25:00.000-08:00

I hope you are having a good holiday season. I know I am, with one major change that I have made to my life, i.e. hiring a helper for 3 hrs 3-4 days a week. She plays with Katya while I paint, or pay bills, or wrap presents. Its amazing what 3 hrs of time can do, and I still feel that I am with the baby all the time.
Right now I am looking at a large canvas that I started, which I am hoping will be finished in the next couple of days. I wanted to be a mix of abstract and realistic imagery, so we shall see. Of course, Christmas preparations take priority. I still love painting flowers, and I think I am going to be ordering some online. Unfortunately local flower shop carries only red flowers during the holiday time.
All girls are doing good. Nicole has aquired quite a reputation as an actress, Emma loves her little sister and reminds me of myself, a caretaker to her younger sibling. Always defending Katya, watching she doesn't eat a penny, etc. Katya learned to clap last night at 12:50 am. That and the fact that she is teething made for a night I don't want to repeat to often.

2009-10-04T20:13:00.000-07:00

One of my biggest wishes right now is for the time to slow down a little bit. I know that its probably not really the time passing too fast. Its the fact that I feel dissatisfied with how this time is spent. I notice that on the day that I paint a good painting I don't say too myself : Gosh, this day flew by. Satisfaction from achieving some worthy goal makes everything seem "enough" is some way. For some weird reason, I always have a hard time thinking about my parenting job with the same sense of satisfaction and pride as I do about my work as an artist. What can be more important than bringing up a human? Or three? I am doing a little better with this, but I can't say that I am all the way there yet. Or may be no one ever is. May be all mothers need to feel they have achieved something else rather than wiping noses and changing diapers all day? I don't know, but I do love my kids more than the world itself.

Speaking of approval. I realized that sharing my paintings too soon after they are made might be good for staying in touch, but it interrupts a process for me. May be that's why I have been having a desire to work for a little while without actually showing every new piece the minute it comes off my easel. It might not work like this for other artists but I think its my desire for approval that is to blame here. I show a piece, people like it and I immediately want to create to please them not to just create for the sake of creating. I am sure its not like that for other artists. I know, though, that I need to always watch for my need to please or make people happy. I know that both of these things will be achieved, if I don't make them my first goal in painting.

In fact I have been thinking about the language that I use (in my mind) when I think about a painting and I have devised a little trick to help me deal with my ego, I think:

When I think about a painting and the first thought that I have about it is "make", "create", then I go ahead with it. If the I describe the project to myself with the word "get" , like get approval, or money, or whatever else, I put it off. I know it won't be genuine, because I am putting my cart before the horse, so to speak. This is probably a little confusing, and I am not sure why I am sharing. Perhaps, someone will find it helpful.

2009-09-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

Its 11 pm and I am dead tired. I have exactly enough energy to do one task, and I think its going to be writing this blog post. I don't really know what to write, or may be I do know, but currently the pathways that lead to the intelligent part of my brain are all on shutdown. Luckily my body is still functioning, so relying more on finger memory than on anything else I will post some of the paintings I have been working on lately. Dave is cleaning a jalapeno pepper. He says that I look beat.
This painting is called.. mmm... a Man walking out of the rain.. I think.. At least that's what my father named it. Dave just said that he is "baby-fied" ... I think he is beat, too.. So I have to say, once in a while, I do have these "visions" of paintings that aren't exactly "recognizable shapes" but I always thought that I will not be true to my nature as a representational artist if I followed through on those. Alas, I have realized that a true artist doesn't limit herself in this way... Dave is eating salt.. Is he trying to send me a secret message here? My battery is about to go.. Somebody, please plug me in.

Aha.. here is a still life. I love painting glass.

And this painting is called ... Universal Transformation of the Soul.... lol... just kidding. Its just some paint I slapped on a piece of watercolor paper with no serious intention. I guess its called more like an... accident.

A painting inspired by our recent trip to Florida where we saw many lily-ponds. I did another one but I think its hideous. That is it for tonight. Please be advised that your seat can be used as flotation device in the unlikely event of a water landing.

2009-08-21T07:25:00.000-07:00

There is something I have to say about breastfeeding, but before I do this, I would like to mention that I am not an activist or a "missionary" at heart. It is my belief that there is far less of a need for us to tell others what to do with their lives, although we sometimes do it anyway. Also, I am not a "lactation consultant" and I am not "against" formula feeding.

When I am nursing my daughter under our little blanket, I inevitably hear: "I tried to nurse mine but I didn't produce enough!" or "I tried for two weeks!", etc. etc.

The reason for this post isn't that some people choose formula feeding or that some have genuine problems. There is simply a vast amount of misinformation out there, and many women could have breastfed very successfully had they had more accurate information. So here is my unofficial guide to breast feeding in several sentences.

1. Nurse, nurse, nurse -- nursing is a business of supply and demand. If you let your baby satisfy all her sucking needs at your breast (instead of plastic -- at least at first) you will produce enough milk for her to grow and be healthy. And please, no schedules! Scheduled feedings at least at first, are the 1st enemy of your milk supply!

2. Completely empty one breast before switching. Your milk comes in thin and watery at first, and then heavier and fatty. The fatty stuff is what makes your baby gain weight. Everyone is different. But I only use 1 breast per feeding, unless I pick up on the clues that my child is still hungry (which doesn't happen very often).

3. Don't pump unless you have to. It might lead to overabundance of milk, which will result in your baby being gassy. This, too, will be corrected. Be patient, it takes about a week or two to (re) establish normal milk supply.

4. Love your breasts -- your baby loves them ! Just think about it -- they give you pleasure, they give your partner pleasure, they look good and they nourish new life. What's not to love? No body shame or guilt!

5. Go with the flow. Don't run to the scale every feeding to see how much your baby is eating. Do they look good? Are they growing? And yes, you will be tired of breastfeeding. When your baby no longer needs that, you will be so happy they are moving on to the next stage because by that time you would have given them all that you needed to give. We are all meant to be happy at every stage in our lives--both as babies and moms. Nurse your babies when they are babies, not when they are 20, so to speak.

Although there are tons of websites, the best one is La Leche League with questions and answers on positioning, troubleshooting, poop colors, etc. etc., but don't get overwhelmed, its not rocket science.

2009-06-28T08:34:00.000-07:00

Last night, with a ton of effort, we did make it to the opening of a 46th Annual Juried Exhibition at Masur Museum of Art. Have you ever been? I like the space of the museum, located in what used to be a residence, now the best place to see visual art in northeast Louisiana.

I wanted to submit some work for the show, but at the time didn't have anything that I thought I would be proud to see on the walls of a museum if my work was selected. So I passed this year, and kind of regretted it, watching proud artists stand by their work, talking to collectors and museum visitors. Miranda Lash, a juror of this year's show and a curator of contemporary and modern art at NOMA, gave a talk which I wish I wouldn't have missed - I spent most of it in the little bathroom under the stairs, trying to keep Katya quite and the other half by the table with drinks (after infanta had her fill but still wouldn't be quite enough). Miranda is a young, vibrant and very intelligent lady. Her energy and desire to help Louisiana art move along cannot go unnoticed.

I was surprised that there wasn't more painting at the show. Frankly, I was a bit disappointed that even though there were some interesting things to see, I personally was inspired by very little. Don't get me wrong, I think its important to push the boundaries of our artistic comfort zones and take art in new directions, old fashioned me wanted to see more people who actually know what to do with their materials on a level of mastery.

Some of the pieces that I enjoyed (and had time to look at) were Dara Engler's The Pirate of Heartache that Doesn't for a well painted, interesting piece , Bess Bieluczyk Waterlogged for a really cool, and I am sure difficult to arrange photo composition, Christina Mazzalupo's Some Kinds for her childlike simplicity. I thought the the lit up chair was cool. Was it called Eudora, by Chritz Campbell.. ? I thought it was beautiful, fun and functional.

The painting that was selected best in show, was very nice, although didn't make quite an impression on me. In fact, that brings me to another point:

The name of the artwork. I have a very hard naming my pieces. To me, its seems to be a very limiting practice. I always thought that the work of art should be strong enough to stand on its own, without a name, an explanation or even, a signature.

If it's created in a way to make a point, produce a reaction or move us emotionally, shouldn't it do so by means contained in the art piece itself? Maybe. I don't know. I have met a man, who painted nudes, and they didn't sell. They he called one of them "Pride" and it flew off the gallery wall. The painting that was selected "Best in Show" last night (Linda T.Dautreuil's Encounter with the Fabulist)was a good , beautiful piece, but I honestly think that without its fabulous title it wouldn't have had as much weight. Or would it have?

Just a couple of thoughts. Well, now the baby is crying.. got to go.

2009-06-26T10:43:00.000-07:00

Those of you who see me on Facebook, probably heard me complain about this one.. Well, I finished it, and even though I am as happy with it as I wanted to be, thought it would be worth sharing.
I got inspired to paint this when I was out walking with my little daughter, Katya. I saw a cypress tree, that had a knot in it, that looked like an eye. The branches of the tree were hanging kind of low and it was pretty dark. So I started imagining a scene that I may put on canvas at one point.
What I feel worked here for me is the color - I think I got what I wanted color wise, or at least close. I got the mood, the composition, however, and the subject matter could be done a little better - I think next time I will do more studies from life, then doing it all from memory.

2009-06-06T20:11:00.000-07:00

I stayed up last night until about 2 am trying to finish my painting. I did, and as I always do, took it off the easel, walked to the other end of the room to look at my finished work, hoping that it will look great. Well, it didn't. Not even good. Ugh. So I repainted some parts. Now its just looks strained and tired. I am not yet ready to share it with the world, may be another day; hey, who knows, may be someone out there needs to see a bad painting to get inspired to do something better!! Its a shame to admit, but sometimes bad work is more inspiring than good. Its an ego boost of sorts for an artist to realize that there is someone out there that sucks more that she does... Lol. Well, I am not being entirely serious, just a little bit.

Today we went to Delhi, a nearby town to help Eric spread the word that he can fix people's computers. Dave drove and I sat in the backseat with the baby and the girls. We shopped at a couple of antique stores and I bought a little Kewpie-looking baby doll. It does not have the blue wings that Kewpies usually have, but it was cute and I thought about displaying it over Katya's crib, whenever I get around to putting one together for her. She sleeps in a co-sleeper, next to me for now. Its easier with the night-time nursing. I don't have to get out of bed at all.

Speaking of nursing, the baby is thriving, but I am getting a bit tired of my stretched out shirts. I never thought of myself as a fashionable girl, but even I want to put a dress on or a blouse, that does not provide quick access to my breasts. Nicole hugs me and tells me: "Mama, you smell like milk!"

Nicole is getting really big. She is so much like her dad, that sometimes I wonder if there is anything in her make-up that's obviously mine. She and I don't get to spend a lot of time together lately. However yesterday afternoon , as I was getting ready to paint, I was walking past her on the way to my studio. I told her, not expecting her to actually do it, to come visit me. She decided to accept my invitation immediately. She sat down and we proceeded to have a very lengthy conversation, in which I learned that my self help books make her angry! My little girl. I smiled, and kept listening. She told me that she hates being lectured to. She told me about other things that bother her and make her angry. I was careful not to lecture! It was good for her to express things that bothered her -- she talked for about an hour and a half straight. We need to do that more.
Tonight Eric took the kids to his house so we only have Katya. She is making little noises on the baby monitor, David is watching Austin city limits (he is saying its awful, but keeps watching it) and I am thinking about making some guacamole. May be I will go clean the studio, and turn that painting I did to the wall, so I can start something new.

2009-06-03T10:14:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't written in a while, so I thought I would post these photos I took, to let the world know, that I am still alive. Its a been an interesting three and a half months since Katya was born. I have been working on one painting, that I hope to finish soon. I turned 30 just a few days ago. Girls finished school for the summer.... and I hear the baby on the monitor now so I will have to continue another time..!

2009-04-27T14:26:00.000-07:00

An example of Newcomb pottery
One of the Walter Andreson's watercolors I saw this weekend.

My latest inspiration was a trip to Masur to see Walter Anderson retrospective. I must say,
I was a little disappointed with the last exhibit of John Scott's work. There wasn't just whole
a lot to see, but this time, the work was good, and there was enough of it. I remember the first
time I saw Walter Anderson's work was in Ocean Springs, MS. I was a bit younger then, Nicole, who
is 9 years old now was only six months. I was a bit more arrogant, too. I remember completely dismissing
the whole experience, saying that I have seen better watercolors in my 1st year of college art class.
I am glad no one actually remembers that I have said that!

David and I agreed that a lot of Anderson's work has almost an Aztec kind of look to it. He took
a language of expression that already existed a long time before him, and said things with it that were completely his own. I have been thinking a lot about my own paintings, about the language that I choose: I am not attracted to super modern way of painting, even though there are modern/abstract works by others that I very much enjoy. I, myself, though, keep getting drawn to more turn of the 20th century styles, you know, Russian post-impressionism, even Soviet social realism,
I love some Art Nouveau top. When I think about other disciplines, like pottery, I keep going back to Newcomb College pottery and thinking that if I were a potter, that's the kind of pots I would make.

I suppose its okay to be not-so-modern modern artist. Its just a matter of speaking the language you choose honestly, I think. Yes, that feels about right.

Here is a story I recently read: One spritual teacher was asked what difference he feels he is making in the world. His answer
was that he feels that he is making no difference. The people who respond to his teachings, already know what to do, the people who don't will not understand even if he talked until he lost his voice. "Then, why do you do what you do?" "Why does a bird sing?"- he replied.

I like that.

2009-04-02T14:39:00.000-07:00

I have been going through my little note book a few days ago and read a couple of entries in my diary from February and March of last year. My diary is not anything anyone would be interested in reading, even I am, I hate to say, embarrassed when I read it. Thats why, usually I destroy things that I write after I feel their usefulness has expired. Anyway, I was reading my thoughts from exactly a year ago and I realized an two important things. First is that I need to give myself a pat on the back - some pretty amazing things happened and 99 % of things that I have set out to do, got done. I have kept a good attitude and with my family, and God, have worked through some pretty amazing things. Second thing I realized is that I, as always put on the back burner the MOST important thing for me personally (not counting children and my husband) which is art. Scarier than that I realized that if I went back two years and read a diary from that time, I would realize that I was still making the same resolutions. I give my time willingly to everything , but not to what makes me happiest.

So I made a deal with myself. I decided that I will not blog or do some other things that I like to do until I have picked up a brush that day. I realized that I always find time to email, but wait for a calmer or better time to paint and it doesn't happen as often as it should. So. Did I paint today? Yes, indeed!! I loved being in the studio - and accidentally mixing iridescent white with all my paints (instead of regular white) which is giving my painting I am working on a strange and very pretty glow.

What else is going on? Well, lots and lots of breastfeeding. I have about three places in the house where I plop down to nurse and there is a book open at each of these chairs. Two of these books are on antiques (my husband bough some for me as a surprise because I love watching Antiques Roadshow) and one of them on by Michael Neil, called Feel Happy Now.. I have to have my self help, ya know.
And right now, I think I may just take my little girl for a walk, which Dave is making Dinner and Eric went to get the kids from the recital rehearsal.

2009-03-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

I have made a couple of watercolors, here are two of them. Everything I do lately seems to be very small - vacuum one room, fold a couple of pieces of laundry, write only a paragraph on my blog: and all because of one little girl.

2009-03-02T07:45:00.000-08:00

Look at these three beautiful girls - hard to believe they are all mine! I never considered myself a motherly type, in fact if there was one type of activity I was always trying to avoid it was babysitting. But now, at the ripe ol' age of 29 I find myself to be a blissfully happy mother of three! Wow. How did that happen?
Catherine Sophia Dunn - our new baby was born on Feb. 15, 2009. More about her birth, about those of you that knew I was having her at home, you can read on my husband's blog which is http://www.randomdoctor.blogspot.com
My days so far are hard to plan - everything is pretty much upside down. Please don't drop in unexpectedly as you will probably loose respect for me forever.. I look, um.. ... well, lets just say, I have looked better ... My house is a royal mess .. by the way.. a good housekeeper, anyone?! I wouldn't worry about it, except, I have so little free time now that every time little Katya is napping, I find myself grabbing a broom or a vacuum, but what I would really like to do, is start venturing out into my studio a little!

2009-01-14T17:17:00.000-08:00

I have just finished updating my website with some of the paintings that have been laying around the studio for a while. Some other ones are going to get recycled - its actually a very exciting time for me. I love the idea of a fresh start.
The paintings that are on the site are all half (or about) half their usual prices. I would like for them to find a new home and give me some space to creat something new!

2008-12-13T21:20:00.000-08:00

2008-12-07T19:11:00.000-08:00

Here is a couple of my new paintings that I first posted on my webiste, and now I am reposting here. Its been kind of a stressful, but good week. I didn't get as much painting done as I had hoped, but David and I helped Eric (Nicole and Emma's dad) move here, to Rayville. We are all adjusting and trying to get things to work (like electricity in his new house), but once everyone is settled in we think it will be really good for everyone. The kids are excited, Dave and I are happy that we have help and that the kids' happiness ultimately reflects on everything else.
We are all becoming fans of living in a small town setting, at least for some (extended, we hope) time.
Our house is finally, if not complete, at least is quite and not full of construction dust. We have completed the majority of big projects we have set out to do, and may be by the time we have the money to do the rest, we will feel well rested to go at it again. The kids now have a playroom upstairs and we have much needed storage and even a little guest room. I love living in this little place.

2008-11-29T21:12:00.000-08:00

I am changing the way I post my paintings and new paintings with prices/sizes/availability will appear on my website now.

This blog will continue to be updated as I have something to say - I just thought that it might be easier for people to find all my recent work in one place.

2008-11-07T20:23:00.000-08:00

I didn't mean to make my iris painting look like the ones I did a year or so ago, but this one sort of came out looking very similar.. It all started with me ordering one size of canvases and I got these long ones instead, which ended up being perfect for the subject. I didn't complete but one of these before the flowers finally died. I tried a few still lifes but they weren't coming along. I am sure my dear husband would disagree! I liked the flowers that I got online and want to try and order another batch to have fill the rest of the canvases I got.

The days are going by so quickly - this monday I will be 24 weeks along in my pregnancy and thats more than half way! The baby kicks and makes me very sleepy.

2008-10-30T12:34:00.000-07:00

I had a few roses left when I returned home on Sunday, so I tried to make a few smaller paintings. Its a beautiful day here in Rayville, I am painting some fresh irises, and our lost cat returned home! Wonderful things are happening.

2008-10-24T10:28:00.000-07:00

David came in from work this morning and asked me how I was doing.. I told him that I would be better if I could actually see what I was painting - I have been having dry eye off an on and its been very frustrating! So I think this painting is done, I might go over it a bit when I see better later.

2008-10-17T14:14:00.000-07:00

My cousin Igor and I in the town of Pilzen - another cool place we saw on our trip. And a little czech sugar treat that I had in Pilzen.

2008-10-17T14:10:00.000-07:00

Our visit to Rozhmital - where my aunt and uncle live. Beautiful little town.

2008-10-17T14:08:00.000-07:00

Second day we met with my aunt and my cousin Masha for coffee before the appointment they had to make in Prague, observed the moving apostles at the astronomical clock, had lunch at a wonderful Thai place....

2008-10-17T14:04:00.000-07:00

Photos of our first day - looking for our hotel (David is amazing with maps, by the way), the view from our hotel window (we stayed at the very top of the Nerudova Stree - a very steep climb but right at the gate of Prague's castle), and a view of the city from the castle...

2008-10-17T13:58:00.000-07:00

We are back from Czech Republic! Oh, it was a wonderful, wonderful trip. We were there just enough time to enjoy ourselves. We loved Prague, it was, as before, majestic - but the countryside was even better. The fall in Czech Republic is beautiful and the weather couldn't have been better. We had a really good visit with my aunt, Marina and her family.

2008-10-06T06:57:00.000-07:00

2008-10-03T13:31:00.000-07:00

I am having a hard time getting going this morning. Tomorrow Dave and I leave Rayville, and on Wednesday we are flying out of New Orleans for our very late honeymoon in Prague, Czech Republic. It will be a short trip, nevertheless we are very excited. I have a ton of things to do today, but currently I am trying to decide whether to do them first then get dressed or vice versa.

2008-10-03T13:09:00.000-07:00

2008-09-24T16:30:00.000-07:00

2008-09-19T06:38:00.000-07:00

"Babies" - Emma, 4 Years old, "Francis", "Girl", "Fortress" - Nicole, 8 years old.

2008-09-19T05:57:00.000-07:00

My new studio is great. One unexpected benefit of it adjoining Emma's room is that now, instead of sitting with her, laying with her at night (which always makes me really tired) I just tell her that I am in my studio painting and she falls asleep on her own! (Just like she should - but after either a move or a trip to Russia she forgot how to do that).

As I was painting last night some yellow mums she told me from her room "Mommy,you are beautiful and I love you". Aww... I love you too, Emma.

Nicole and Emma both enjoy the space with me. Yesterday Nicole drew a fortress in a landscape (and you would never guess that in Nicole's special language none of these familiar words mean what you think they do!) "Fortress", explained Nicole, was an oriental woman (like "lioness") in a beautiful dress and makeup. And I am guessing that "landscape" was the made up calligraphy around her. Emma sat on the floor and painted babies for me. She would paint the heads with two eyes and a smile and some legs. The she would cut their legs off (nothing bad, but babies, according to Emma, don't need legs). By the end of the night I accumulated many different color babies and they all had made up names.

And one more thought for today. I just finished a book by Elizabeth Gilbert "Eat, Pray , Love" and really loved it. I went on her site and read what she wrote on the process of writing. I think it can be applied to any art form and I now try to remind myself of these words as doubts about my own abilities make it hard to work. Here is what she said:

"The other thing to realize is that all writers think they suck. When I was writing “Eat, Pray, Love”, I had just as a strong a mantra of THIS SUCKS ringing through my head as anyone does when they write anything. But I had a clarion moment of truth during the process of that book. One day, when I was agonizing over how utterly bad my writing felt, I realized: “That’s actually not my problem.” The point I realized was this – I never promised the universe that I would write brilliantly; I only promised the universe that I would write. So I put my head down and sweated through it, as per my vows."

2008-09-15T09:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I tried to edit this post, and write something together with posting this picture, but somehow, magically, everything that I have written magically disappeared.
I can't exactly remember what I said, but it was something about this cat in the painting, and how it wanted attention from me so bad and disturbed my painting process until it finally settled in behind the pears I was a painting a study of. I think at the end, she really set the mood for this little painting and became a very welcome "accident" to my composition.
Also I wanted to add a few things about the artist the pictures of the visit to whose house and studio I posted below. Looking back at this trip to my homeland, many people I have encountered were happy and welcome visits, but this particular visit really made a difference for me in the long run. I knew of the guy, but didn't know him personally, before we went to the village of Staro - Korsunskaya, where he lives with his wife. I was very amused to watch him talk about his world and spiritual views (very unconventional), show us the house he built with his own two hands, the vegetable garden that he and his wife planted, the little meditation nooks, water ponds, etc. The amount of effort and time that went into building this little world of his was impressive - but what impressed me the most was how genuinely happy he seemed. The kind of happiness that was so simple, yet very uncommon. He, as he stated himself, was so happy there, on his patch of land, satisfied with exactly what he had, that there was no desire on his part to go have fun or vacation anywhere else. His inner world so rich, that it didn't really matter if he had immediate access to malls, markets, exhibits, etc, etc.

I loved how easy it was to be around this guy. I loved that he was the kind of person whose spirituality wasn't preachy, or imposing in any way. In no way I felt that this is someone that will dissect me and put me under a microscope, judge my life according to his beliefs. Instead he seemed to have that rare child like presence - and even though there was no lack of theories about the way we/God/world functions, he seemed to live through intuition, his heart, rather than his head.

Rayville, LA wasn't ever a place I thought I would live - but I am here, having made my way all across the globe, through a thousands of events, many connections and relationships (not all romantic, just human) and seeming coincidences. I felt lost and out of place, but more in my own mind, rather than a certain place on the map. I worked on arriving to a place of contentment and filled dozens of diary pages with confused thoughts about how to get to that place. And then during a visit to this person's world, I realized that this is what I want more than anything. Not moving, not staying, not attaining anything from the outside, but to be completely present, to have my life, somehow possess it in a way that doesn't give attention away to outside distractions, desires, goals, and yet, doesn't exclude them. I wanted to be my own world and more than anything I wanted to be a happy inhabiter of that world.

I didn't have special revelations, didn't see the sky part, but when we arrived back at home I was somehow in a completely different space.
I have heard it said by Louise Hay that you don't have to know how to change all you have to do, is to be willing to change. I think I can say "Amen" to that.

2008-09-11T18:06:00.000-07:00

One of the most memorable visits, while we were in Russia was to the studio of an artist Alexei Parshkov (seen here without a shirt), who is actually a pretty big name in the art of Southern Russia. David and I bought a painting of his.

2008-09-03T18:34:00.000-07:00

Here we are on a very windy day in Novorossiysk - the main port city of Southern Russia and a major World War II site. In this harbor Russians sunk all their fleet to prevent German ships from passing, and fought a very long battle ( I think it was around 21 days but I haven't checked). Anyway, it was very beautiful, but like I said already, very windy and there was an impressive memorial - you can see Dave posing in front of it.

2008-08-28T18:53:00.000-07:00

My daughter Emma took this picture of me a couple of days ago in my studio. I finally "christened" it last week. There is still no A/C there, but it stays pretty cool all day except for late evening, when about 7 pm the sun really heats up the room.
Its amazing to have a studio - it makes all the difference in the world having a dedicated place for paitning. I love it.

2008-08-28T07:04:00.000-07:00

One day on the way to the new Georgian Restaurant we were approached by a writer/poet selling his own book. I am always touched by people creating something and then going to great lengths like this to sell it - so I bought the book from him. I think just the good feeling that was created by the interaction was worth my $10.

There are plenty of people in Russia right now that live the life of faith, culture, appreciation for the beautiful, but to me they seemed to fade further and further into the background.

My feelings about my hometown during this visit were very mixed. None of the other times I felt that I actually didn't know this city, that I grew up in. As familiar and nice it was to visit, the changes are vast and not always good, in my opinion. All the progress seems to be driven by greed and bad taste, and not by inspiration or beauty, or some idea beyond the immediate monetary reward. May be one day it will even out, may be its just a temporary side affect of this situation that Russia has found itself in.

2008-08-22T10:54:00.000-07:00

Dave and I are back from our trip to Russia. I was happy to show the country that I grew up in. It was interesting to watch him react to things he never saw in his life, like public bathrooms. By the way, our little daughter, Emma, having seen one of those for the first time, told Dave: "Daddy, thats just not right!"
I will be posting more pictures with little stories later. This picture is of me and Dave on the way to the beach, through the mountains.

2008-07-02T09:20:00.000-07:00

I didn't die or give up painting. I just spent a week away from home entertaining some friends of my mother's in New Orleans, and now I am home where my studio is being built and many other things are going on. I am also currently feeling a little ill and it significantly slowed me down in whatever projects I have going on. Just an update... more later..

2008-06-11T07:47:00.000-07:00

My photography experiments. I love the color, esp. the warm color at the heart of the flower and how its accented by the cooler pinks around it. Its been busy around here - Dave and I are enclosing a carport to make a studio space for me. I am extremely excited about this development. Now I just need to get through another patch where I spend more time at Lowes than at home! I went yesterday to order windows, but we didn't have the correct measurements so I may be going back today.

Two days ago a very good friend of our family died suddenly in Russia. He was repairing an electric line, followed all the rules, and by accident the line he was cutting touched on a high voltage line next to it. He died instantly and was not only burned badly but also thrown from a pole on which he was working. He was very kind and gentle man and it is still hard to conceive that he would die with such brutality. I cry every time I think about him. I know my brother told me he does too. And we are just children of the man that was friends with him (my Dad). May be if we are gentle and kind, when its our turn to go, more people will cry about us then we realize.

I don't know, this death seems awfully brutal to those who are left to witness what happens afterwards, but as far as he was concerned the death was so fast, that he didn't have time to get scared.

I guess posting pictures of roses is appropriate for today's post.

I feel so in the moment, and hardly any desires to get more and achieve more. Just do the work right now and love my family. I hope this feeling will last. God rest "uncle" Andrei's soul...

2008-06-04T21:50:00.000-07:00

My palette. Just thought it was kind of a neat picture.

2008-06-04T21:46:00.000-07:00

And this is me, painting the cotton today - wow, it was hot. And I stayed out there with only short breaks from about 9 am to 4:30pm. By the time David walked through that gate I was ready to take a break! I don't feel like I accomplished anything today, may be because the painting didn't come together like I thought, still I don't its coming along badly. Its different painting still lifes outdoors - except for very high temperatures I am really enjoying it.

2008-06-04T21:42:00.000-07:00

I did this painting of cotton and a lamp today, but I don't think I am finished. I think tomorrow I will keep working on it. Things are going well, we have a whole week to ourselves. The children are with Eric in New Orleans, its kind of weird to only take care of yourself for a few days.

Test

2008-06-02T21:10:00.001-07:00

2008-05-30T08:37:00.000-07:00

I am not thrilled with this still life, but thats the kind of painting week I had - too bad to be really happy about and too good to scrape the work off. I did hear a very inspirational thing on satellite radio yesterday. A certain life coach was saying that when we make our work about us, then we are setting ourselves up for a life of anxiety and depression. We need to make our work about work itself, i.e. making the best possible product, service, etc. Then, our work cannot define how good WE are, just how good the work is!

2008-05-30T08:23:00.000-07:00

2008-05-19T18:28:00.000-07:00

Still life with the kitten that wouldn't stand still.

2008-05-19T08:45:00.000-07:00

This little kitty was mewing so loud last night under our house, that we took her in, fed her and let her stay in our laundry room. Our cat didn't take too kindly to the kitten, so we are trying to keep them separate. As I am doing my housework right now she is following me around. Right now she is staring at me from under my monitor, and just a minute ago she climbed up my pants using her claws and got on the desk... Does anyone need a black kitten? Very loud and annoying, but really cute!

2008-05-15T14:17:00.000-07:00

My friend and I were supposed to go eat lunch today - but she canceled, and decided to try and make a little painting with the time left between getting the kids and noon. I think this one came out kind of nice, especially after having to paint for two days prior to today, and scrape everything I have done off.

2008-05-09T12:40:00.000-07:00

Awww... cute bird..

Yesterday, as I was finishing up this little painting, I was thinking of what I will blog about when I post these new pictures online. I was trying to think of something important to say about my life as an artist, when I realized that I was painting in the midst of total chaos. All day long I had to take care of errands, buy groceries and clean toilets. I felt tired and uninspired. I was exhausted from the night before, besides the fact that Emma stayed home, because we thought she might be sick, but all day long she was fine, just really busy..
Anyway, when the inspiration finally hit me about 5:30 pm it was almost dinner time! I picked up my brush and said, feeling really guilty: "David, baby, I am just going to paint for a minute, ok?", knowing full well that its probably not going to be "for a minute", and knowing that David knows it too: that, and that he is all on his own as far as dinner prep goes.
"Mo-o-om! Come wipe me!!!" Thats Emma in the bathroom... I do that and return to my canvas. "Mom, can I have a strawberry?" Dave helps with that. Nicole takes one and retreats outside.. I had to look for a minute - she is outside in a little chair, strawberry in hand, and a most recent issue of OBG Management (ObGyn magazine that David gets). I think about what she can be reading in there, and keep painting... I think about the composition.. where do I put this branch, this flower, so the painting flows? How detailed do I want it to be? "Babe, do you want some leftover casserole for dinner?" Yes! Anything will do... "Just a minute more, ok?" I feel like I want to apologize for taking time during the busiest time of our day for painting.. I step back to see what I have created, thinking not to run into the dining room table.. Instead I almost fall over because Emma had compiled something out of her bean bag and princess folding chair, and pillows from our bed right behind me. David notices and fusses at her for putting our clean pillows on the floor. She promptly removes our pillows and replaces them with her own pillow. Ahh, I can't fight this child!! At least not right now. I have to decide if I have enough cool shades here - the painting seems too yellow.... "The chickens are coming home to roost!!!" yells Emma while she runs from room to room. I suspect it is something Sean Hannity is saying on FOX channel in the other room , still upset over Rev.Wrights controversial sermons.. "The chickens are coming home to roost!! Mo-o-om, can I have my brownies before dinner?" Okay, I think I need to stop. He made dinner happen - I love my husband.. Everyone is finally at the table.. I turn around to glance at my painting. I got something done. And my family is, actually, okay...

2008-05-05T18:54:00.000-07:00

Monday afternoon - we were having fruit after the girls came back from school - I thought it looked so bright, I loved the red and orange against my yellow walls. Of course those pictures that I intended to take didn't really come out, but a few of the kids did..

2008-04-25T13:01:00.000-07:00

I posted this photo earlier today, but just getting to writing.. In the beginning of this week I spent a few days in New Orleans with a group of Russian people, all of them from my home city of Krasnodar. I am going back o interpret more for two more days early next week.

I have been working on this painting (40X60) for a while, and when I got back home from the trip to N.O. I realized I didn't like some parts of it, so only today got officially finished and removed it from my sight. Not that its not pleasant to look at it, its just nice to look at an empty easel right now imagining a possibility of a next painting, rather something that has already been materialized. I must say those "possibilities" always seem more beautiful, then finished products. Hopefully only to me... As one of my friends always says "I will reach for the starts and if I get the moon, I won't complain".

I haven't named this painting yet - Japanese Magnolias at Sunset is all I could come up with so far.

Life is good.

2008-04-07T07:39:00.001-07:00

Here is a little detail of a painting I am working on right now.. I hope its not bad luck to post unfinished work, or portions of unfinished work.. I just think the blog is so boring without something to look at..It (if turns out) will be a bigger piece, I think its 40X60, with my japanese magnolia tree back lit with a setting sun.

Well, another roller-coaster week. I have become extremely moody, and it bothers me. I think this must be the toughest time I have experienced yet, even though my friends might disagree, its really how it feels. It must be the move, and the divorce, and new marriage, financial instability for a long time, and did I mention miscarriage? Yes that happened to me too, just a few days ago.. Although as an isolated event it didn't really bring me down, I actually took it so well, and having cried for one day, I let it go and was very much at peace, even cheerful the days following it, I have to factor it in to my current state, because I can't imagine it made no difference.

Actually, this last event in my life got me thinking about how secretive we are. If we were just more open with one another we would see that our troubles are very normal, and are just part of life. The actual event of loosing a pregnancy seemed so scary to me before it happened. I just assumed that it has to work perfectly, otherwise its no good. But not every painting comes out, not every seed grows, etc. Its seems sad, but is it really?

Sometimes I feel like I was born without a gene that makes people pace themselves and do things slowly. I just want to be back to normal happy Anya. I know I am getting there, but I am just too impatient...

And here is a weird thing: I am finishing this post and feeling much better - I feel like I have vented and ready to move on, ready to paint and to go get the best out of today.. Is it bad for me to post this now? Is it going to make everyone else feel miserable? I hope it doesn't .. I hope in some weird way it helps - someone's out there is doing worse than you - or just as bad as you - and may be we can feel better together.. and makes something beautiful today.

2008-03-31T07:33:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while .. And right now don't really know where to start. I guess it would have been great to have a new painting ready to show the world, but I started one last week and its just isn't yet coming to an end. If it works, its should be very pretty. Spring break was here, so Nicole stayed home for 10 days. One day she expressed her desire to learn how to paint realistic paintings. So I gave her a lesson, and it was really fun. She did good, and I started to think that may be one day in the future I could teach a class . I really didn't know I had anything to say until I started telling her what to do and how to think. I don't know how much stuck with her, after just one time, but she seemed to be very proud to have finished a small painting.

Nicole and I made a trip to New Orleans for a couple of days. We spent some time together and got some things accomplished with the apartment in Metairie. It was good to be with her one on one. She is getting so big - 8 years old already... Geez, I remember myself at 8, I felt like I was an adult already, -- its hard to believe that I now have a daughter who seems to be getting more and more independent, spending more time playing on her Nintendo then begging me to play with her like her little sister does.

I have been in a very 'mothering' mode lately. As difficult as it is to combine parenting with everything else in life and try to be good at it, its probably the best thing one can do both for personal growth and as a sort of an investment in the future. Just to think that if everyone is well, these are people that are going to be around you in some fashion or another for the rest of your life. To me thats a very happy thing.

I am going to go walk now.

2008-03-21T19:27:00.000-07:00

2008-03-20T16:07:00.000-07:00

Small (11X14) painting of Japanese magnolia - the one I am working on on the photo below. I've spent today priming canvases, went to Hobby Lobby to get art supplies and stopped by Ouachita Art gallery, just to see what others are doing...

2008-03-13T14:54:00.000-07:00

I spent all morning painting, stopping only to have a drink of water, I started (and almost finished) two small canvases. The weather was gorgeous - the birds, the sun, and smells from the blooming trees. The cat layed on my feet while I painted, it was nice, but I did step on her one time.. She was mad, but either didn't realize that the pain was caused by me or just decided to quickly let it go, because she was at my feet the very next moment. There were almost no distractions today except for the occasional insects that got stuck to my oily flowers and the same cat jumping straight onto my palete. I took time to wipe her off, but as she was licking her paws later I kept wondering if she will get lead poisoning. I love that animal. David didn't think I should be concerned.

I did hear a radio program on the internet this morning with a person who was a creativity coach. He answered questions on the program called I Can Do It put out by Hay House, kind of an alternative spiritual publishing company. The host and the 'guy', I don't remember his name, were discussing the problem of depression in highly creative people, struggles to find meaning in life and in work, dealing with anxiety and self doubt. The 'guy' wrote a book called "Van Gogh Blues" and it sounds like its worth looking at, if anxious feelings are getting in the way of working.

It felt good to hear the callers with the same questions as I have been having. Isolation, that we as artist seek can be our greatest blessing and our biggest curse. For so long I have struggled with such paralizing anxiety, huge fears and doubts and all it takes sometimes is reaching out to others and being willing to see that we aren't alone, that we are ok, there is nothing wrong with us and there is a way out of our darkest moments. I literaly thought sometimes that there was something wrong with me, that I was just a little crazy..

Anyway, that was my little exprience today.

2008-03-11T11:58:00.000-07:00

Just finished this.. I am exhausted, got to run to the grocery and pick up the kids.. will post the description later.

2008-03-11T11:56:00.000-07:00

2008-03-06T18:01:00.000-08:00

2008-03-03T11:48:00.000-08:00

It was supposed to rain, so I picked some flowers off of our tree so I could stay inside and still have something to do. I thought the painting looked finished, until I brought it out into daylight and it was a complete mess. Now with only an hour before getting the kids I am struggling with whether I should go to the grocery store or finish this .. I guess I will go see if I could work on it for another 30 minutes or so.

I am so sleepy...

2008-03-03T06:20:00.000-08:00

2008-02-21T11:09:00.000-08:00

Its been raining all day today. So wet out there that our cat that never comes back in, after she is allowed to go outside, darted back in to that house. I finished this painting (inside) - but most of it I painted on location - just off one of the roads here by a swamp. The shadows on the green duckweed and how they interacted with the rest of the surroundings is what attracted me to this site. I enjoyed painting there, although I am still a little uneasy painting plein-air after being an "inside" painter for so long. I constantly think of what drivers on the road will think of me - and how ridiculous is that!? Thats a very distracting way to paint. I am growing to really love it, though and I hope with time and practice I will get better..

I caught the flu virus for the second time, both times were uncomfortable but not horribly severe. Despite being sick, though, and aching all over I realized today that I felt very happy. Just to think of how I resisted coming to this small town, and how just a few months down the road I am glad we did. Even though I have been kind of a recluse here - don't see anyone but my family, I don't feel like I need to see anyone. At least not right now.

I am painting another sketch of my window, although that one I started becuase there was just nothing else to do. I don't think its coming along great, but there is still work to be done on it.

I also watched the latest addition to video demonstrations on American Artist Magazine website, and today it was Phil Sandusky painting a street in New Orleans - the guy really knows his stuff! http://www.myamericanartist.com/

2008-02-16T15:52:00.000-08:00

Japanese Magnolia Blooms. Acrylic sketch on canvas board. 9X12. The colors in this picture a slightly brighter then the original painting, not by much but there is a difference. I painted this last night, while the kids played by themselves and then finished it after they went to bed.
We went for a walk as a family after its been rainting all day. We walked "downtown" Rayville, and back to our house. There was a pile of trash next to our home - among the trash were two big boxes. One of them said "Please Expedite - HUMAN REMAINS". And another one was obviously a coffin. David begged me to keep one of them for Halloween - ABSOLUTELY NOT!

We live next door to a funeral home. Its not bad, though.

I love this place more and more every day. Not for what it is, I guess, but for what its not. Sure its nice to have all the city has to offer, but its so much harder to keep your center and focus when there is so much demanding your attention every day.

2008-02-12T09:46:00.000-08:00

Yesterday's exercise - took about an hour. Not perfect, but I am so unsure of myself whne it comes to lanscapes, that I am happy that it least looks like something... Today is raining, so I am doing things inside. Spent about an hour on american artist magazine website trying to learn from other artists. I love this country - I am sitting in the comfort of my home in the middle of nowhere and looking at other people working across the globe. Alright. Back to work.

2008-02-07T15:59:00.000-08:00

Well, not extremely successful day - but I worked - one not a very complete oil sketch, and sleeping Dave charcoal sketch that looks like someones postmortem portrait.. And I think his ear is lower that its supposed to be, among many other mistakes, I am sure that I am not yet seeing. One of my teachers always said that when you show your work, then you really see your mistakes. Boy, do I.
It was freezing today to sit out there, and the wind made it really uncomfortable. The whole time I was painting I was mentally picturing someone bringing me a hat - instead all my visualizations brought me was a lady with three Bibles and the pamphlet about the end of the world. I think tomorrow I will bring warm clothing..

2008-02-02T20:26:00.000-08:00

2008-01-30T11:39:00.001-08:00

Here we are waiting for a table at Galatoire's - Mom, me and Dave. Today Mom and Dad left in the morning - so back to regular life. I took a long bath and read a book on landscaping. I think I am beginning to dig the whole garden thing..
Emma is sick and home. She is inspecting my face very closely and not letting me type.

2008-01-28T20:27:00.000-08:00

The photo is from the Myrtles Plantation, in St. Francisville, if I am not mistaken.. My mother and father are visiting me right now, and tomorrow is their last day here in Rayville.. They leave on Wednesday. We visited so many interesting places, including where the little angel above was photographed. While in New Orleans we went to Preservation Hall, and Galatoire's - we had to go there, since Mom wanted some experiences that she could share with her colleagues at the American Studies Department in Krasnodar. When she learned that Galatoire's was one of the places Tennessee Williams liked to visit, we decided to put it on our list to do. It was, I must say, a rather neat experience. I have been there several times, but this time I really paid attention to all details of the interior and food. I

We also went to Vicksburg, MS, and Enterprise, LA and Monroe and all the little towns around us. On the way to Enterprise, where we ate at Jim Bowie's Relay station, I saw some very very beautiful Louisiana landscapes. I am all inspired now. Got my plein air box fixed.

I deleted my mailing list. I just didn't feel like this blog was going anywhere, well, at least where I thought it would at first. I don't like the thought of clogging people's mailboxes with my rants, so now that the list is gone, and I can be a little more relaxed about what I write, I hope I will post more - even if no one reads, this is good for my clearing my head.

I am getting used to my new life here in Rayville. The house is really nice, and David being so close to home makes this all worth the while. I haven't really had a solid month here without distractions or some form of discomfort, so I haven't really gone past two paintings, one of which is really ugly.

2008-01-08T10:57:00.000-08:00

My very first Rayville sketch. Acryllic on paper (for acryllic painting). Cotton against the window. 12X18.

2007-12-13T06:58:00.001-08:00

Ah, its nice to finally be in the house as opposed to a hotel! The work on the house continues, but main areas are done.

We are have a very nice crew working on the house. When they don't talk about tile or crown molding they talk about hunting. And hunting just about everything that moves.

The other day, while making a sausage stew in my slow cooker I was discussing barbecued raccoons with a man staining my kitchen cabinets... how much more backwoods Louisiana can this get, I thought.. His stories made me laugh. Just as a story of another guy who is working here about a squirrel that was misfortunate enough to jump in front of his truck. Apparently the only damaged part of this animal was its head, so it was promptly picked up and cooked for dinner. And dinner meaning lunch - one more confusing thing! They would say: "See you after dinner, Ma'am!" And I think they will show up at 6:30 pm instead they come at 12:30 pm.

Sometimes I feel like I am in a foreign country - I understand only 30% of what these people say! The boys working on the house think its very cute.

2007-09-18T06:07:00.001-07:00

One of the paintings that I did in school hanging in the dean's hall in our university. My mom (in the picture above) just sent this to me.

2007-09-13T11:31:00.001-07:00

WE GOT MARRIED!!! Yeah!

I know I haven't posted in a while... As some of you know, we are getting ready to move to Rayville, LA where Dave (my husband) is going to be working. I am looking forward to living in the country and having more focused time to work on my paintings. I am excited about new subjects and also about a house, where all 4 of us will have our own space.
Hopefully next post will be of some nice paintings inspired by Northern Louisiana...!

2007-08-01T09:23:00.001-07:00

Here are some new banana paintings. I am happier with the one on top, although the bottom one may still grow on me.
Yesterday I had an interesting day. I got away from painting and interpreted for a group of Ukranian women. We visited Womens' Shelter, Metropolitan Crime Commission, and spoke with Sociology and Political Science professors at UNO. Today I am home, but tomorrow I am interpreting again. Hopefully, this weekend I will start a new painting.

2007-07-30T19:48:00.001-07:00

Just got a word from the gallery that they will be about a week late opening, but they will be open on Dirty Linen Night on August 11th. We are planning on being there.

This is an old watercolor - I did it in my first year of art school. Its somewhere in my mom's apartment in Russia.

2007-07-29T19:11:00.001-07:00

Just the other morning I went to buy some canvases and paint, since I was very low on my art supplies.

There was this young man there, that I frequently see while I shop for art supply. Our little exchanges are usually limited to "Hey, how are you?" and "I am out of paint again!", but this time I asked him how he was and he told me that he wasn't in happy place in his life. His mother was sick, and he was left to care for her. Between his job and his sick parent, he had no time for his artwork. He expressed how miserable that made him and that he wished this time would end. He was frustrated and tired. I thought about it for a moment and realized that his was a perfect example of a situation that couldn't really be changed until it came to its natural resolution.. I thought of my own life. How many times I get impatient, when all that is necessary is to allow the situation to naturally unfold, on its own schedule. I heard someone once use an analogy of a person trying to tug on a tulip shoot, which of course only disrupts the possibility of the flower reaching it full potential.

In my mind, I was giving this man advice not to resist, embrace his mother's sickness, his finacial difficulty and creative drought. I realized, I was giving this advice to myself. So often my mind thinks it knows best, but so often just around the corner from what it seems like most unappealing circumstances, is the most beautiful and profound experience.

Anyway, just some thoughts. They aren't really about art, but I did think them in the art supply store!

A new small painting of roses, and just like the one below its oil on canvas.(Oil that hasn't probably dried yet).

2007-07-29T16:08:00.001-07:00

2007-07-20T19:05:00.001-07:00

Eggplant I did a few days ago. This one is in oil.

2007-07-19T19:19:00.000-07:00

And here is my robot, that lived on the branch of that painting published below for a short time. My dear David dared me to paint a robot in the banana leaves and do other silly things. Anyway, I couldn't loose, so I did it. We both had a good laugh. The only thing I regret is that i didn't get a close up photo of the robot. He had little red antennae and red eyes. He was very cute.

2007-07-19T12:35:00.001-07:00

The other day I was driving around in the Bywater neighborhood of New Orleans, and as I turned on one of the streets I was surprised by the abundance of banana plants. Everywhere I looked there was some magnificent plant to look at. So far I have done these two paintings, and I have a couple of more in mind. Both of these pieces are in acrylic.

2007-06-30T13:33:00.000-07:00

I have done two paintings this week using acrylic paint - I was having fun and I think I will do some more. For a while I thought of acrylic as a substitute of oil, but I realized that if I think of it being closer to guache then to oil, then my approach changes. And I like the results better.
I missed the art market today due to a family emergency. I really wanted to be there, and it looks like the weather held up, too.
I like painting glass. When I was in college I had a boyfriend, who I can't thank for much, but one thing he did for me - he explained to me painting glass so clearly that every time I paint a bottle I think of this rule, and when i don't, the glass doesn't look right. When we are painting thin to think we have shadow, half shadow (half light), light and then the highlight and with each step the paint gets thicker and thicker. The thickest would be the highlight and light. So one time we were painting, and he said - remember, Taraschuk (why would anyone call their girlfriend by her last name?) everything inside the bottle is half shadow except for the highlight. Its so easy and it really works. It gives the bottle that glass feel and no matter what light changes there are inside the glass, they are all painted with the same thin layer that one would use to paint a half shadow.